I Said this Five Years Ago, Today!

How the Lord took my "yes" and brought my healing full circle on this day.

"Today is July 1st."

Five years ago, in 2021, I looked at my wife and said the same thing. What made that moment so special was not just what I said, but why I said it and the declaration behind it. Little did I know that the next five years were going to be a wild ride.

In May of 2020, I followed a calling to a church. The pandemic was happening, and there were a lot of decisions to be made during that time, partly because this church was full of elderly folks who really could not afford to get sick, financially or physically. It was a season filled with stress.

Without going too deep into the weeds of what happened at that church, I was only there for one year as their pastor. During that year, my mental health was wrecked, and so was my wife’s. We struggled every month just to make it through. I dreaded going to church. I was not finishing sermons. I was not planning sermons. I was not even doing my own Bible study.

Then, in March of 2021, I had a mental breakdown and was in the hospital for six hours. The following month, the same thing happened to my wife, and I knew it was time to leave my position as pastor. After seeking the Lord’s permission to leave, He gave me peace to step down. I stepped down in May, and my wife and I decided not to work anywhere for a month. We were going to take the whole month of June off, take a much-needed vacation, and attend a marriage retreat.

I began to pray and seek the Lord for direction, and the only thing I kept hearing was rest, take the month of June off. So that is what we did. About halfway through the month, I told my wife that we would take the rest of June off, but when July 1st came, no matter what the Lord told me to do, even if it was digging ditches or preaching again, I was going to say "yes." The rest of the month was a relaxing time. We took a road trip to Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, and Louisiana. The kids were done with driving by the end of it, but I had a great time.

At the end of the month, Anna and I went on a marriage retreat with Double Honor. This is a retreat specifically for pastors and their wives, and I learned a lot about myself that week. It was a great time of rest. I was able to fish, go on dates with my wife, and listen as the house pastor poured into us as a group.

On Friday of that trip, July 1st, it was the last day of our retreat. The sun was gleaming through our window, my wife was making the bed, and the smell of coffee and breakfast filled the air in our room. Just past 9 a.m., I looked at my wife and reminded her what day it was.

“Today is July 1st,” I said with curious excitement about the day.

She replied, “Today is July 1st. No matter what.”

I repeated, “No matter what.”

That statement would be tested later that day. At 2 p.m., the house pastor, who is a friend of mine, asked me what I was doing the next week. There happened to be a camp that needed a children’s leader, and they were willing to pay.

Of course, I said, “Yes.”

Over the next few months, which would lead into the next five years, it became a series of yeses and nos. Yes to what the Lord was asking me to do, and no to what people wanted me to do. I listened and waited for the opportunities the Lord gave me.

The last five years have hurt. I will not lie. There have been many challenges and the Lord helped me through them. I have had a lot of good yeses from the Lord and a lot of Yeses I didn't want to go through and I had to say yes even to the pain, even when it was not my choice. But the Lord provided the whole way.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

This is the photo my wife and I took on July 1st, 2021. Our day we said "yes" to the Lord.

Trusting the Lord to provide was hard, but it was necessary for growth. I gave Him all that I had, even in the midst of heartache. But there were many joys as well.

And now, on July 1st, 2026, I officially begin my second pastorate. I have been with this church as their interim, but today, five years after that declaration began, I am once again a pastor of a church that Lord said I could say "yes" to. I couldn't be happier.

The Lord is gracious, and He wants to heal you and me. I am still healing, and now the Lord continues to heal me by bringing me here and bringing this day full circle.